I have realized that this is a skill to learn and practice over time.
I always appreciate when people ask for specific feedback rather than general feedback. I try to ask someone to read one essay or one section of something rather than sending everything to someone and expect high quality feedback, its just too much to ask. I ask for feedback on flow, or for feedback on wording, etc.
giving and receiving feedback takes time and labor. I try my best allow for plenty of time to receive feedback on writing. I ask folks to try to give me feedback one or two weeks later. and I always understand if people dont have the capacity to give me incredibly detailed lengthy feedback, take whatever you can get!
I view receiving feedback as an act of friendship, love and care (care work is valued work) and dont let it go unnoticed or unthanked!!